A Christmas Story-The Leg Lamp Lives!
“Fra-gi-le!” exclaims Old Man Parker in the 1983 Christmas classic movie, A Christmas Story. “It’s a major award!” he cries, clearly moved near to tears while his wife stares aghast while he uncrates and proudly displays the lascivious Leg Lamp in the front window of the family’s suburban home in mythical Hohman, Indiana. You can get your own Leg Lamp, but more on that later.
The movie is an affectionate view of a wacky 1940s middle class family with a terrific cast including Darrin McGavin as the old man, Melinda Dillon as his long-suffering wife and Peter Billingsley as 9-year-old Ralphie Parker. It’s a funny, warm-hearted view of Christmas as seen from Ralphie’s point of view, as he struggles with his endless quest to get the Christmas present of his dreams, a Red Ryder BB Gun.
Quest for the Red Ryder BB Gun
The arrival of the Leg Lamp is but one of a series of family life’s mishaps witnessed by Ralphie, and the start of a battle between the Parkers concerning it’s ultimate fate as treasure or trash. Ralphie’s own struggles with everyday challenges both at home and at school are dwarfed by his desire is to get his official Red Ryder BB Gun. But despite his best efforts to plant the seeds of why he should get it with his parents, his teacher and a retail store Santa, he’s always told that he’ll “You’ll shoot your eye out!” Even a department store Santa gives him the same warning just before he shoves Ralphie down a long exit slide with his boot
Pressure builds
Desperate to get his gun, Ralphie’s quest is beset upon by school and the neighborhood. He writes a carefully-worded essay about why he should get the BB gun, only to reel in shock when his teacher Miss Shields gives him a C+.
Daily harassment by neighborhood bully Scut Farcus stresses Ralphie, pushing near the brink. One day he snaps and beats the stuffing out of Farcus, all the while spraying a torrent of heated profanity.
One “Fudge” too many
Depressed by his fading Red Ryder dream, Ralphie is amazed when his dad asks him to help change a flat tire on the family car en-route home after buying a Christmas tree. It would be another opportunity to prove his worth with his dad.
The old man’s language is charged with a high-voltage torrent of profanity, never clearly articulated, but whose meaning is clear. Like when the old man engages the fritzy furnace, demonstrating that he’s one of the fiercest furnace fighters in Hohman history. Pipe bangings, smoke and garbled curses spew out of the furnace vents and the old man emerges from the cellar, smoke streaked but triumphant.
This undue influence upon Ralphie suddenly erupts when Mr. Parker knocks a hubcap full of wheel nuts loose from Ralphie’s grip, that held what was once a tire onto the rim of the family car. “Fudge” says Ralphie, but we all know what he really said. Shocked and dismayed, wondering how his son developed such a dirty mouth, his father orders him back inside the car. Returning home, Ralphie endures his mother’s awful tasting Lifebuoy soap punishment.
Santa To The Rescue
Between the Farcus fight and his “fudge” slip-up, Ralphie figures his chances of getting the Red Ryder BB gun are about nil. But on Christmas morning, Santa delivers the goods. Ralphie promptly goes outside, shoots at a metal sign and the ricochet skins his cheek. His glasses fly off. While looking for them, he steps on and crushes them.
An endearing holiday film
What makes the film so endearing is a combination of a terrific cast and the gleeful narration about life from Ralphie’s perspective, now grown up, by author Jean Shepherd, about what it was like to be a kid in Indiana. Ralphie’s schemes to get his gun while dealing with forces opposing him, including the neighborhood bully and the “triple dog dares” of playground encounters, make for an amusing heart-warming story.
Now you can actually get your own leg lamp
If you yearn for your own Leg Lamp, be of good cheer! It’s available here in several sizes, from a tabletop model sure to irritate your spouse, to full size model perfect for your own front window display, including wooden “Fragile” crate. For a limited time you’ll even be able to pick up an adult t-shirt with a full Leg Lamp and crate purchase. Just click I Want My Own Leg Lamp.
Add the film to your collection
You can add the film to your collection, in either DVD or BLUE RAY versions. I never get tired of seeing the flick. And there’s a 2-disc DVD Special Edition that includes commentary by the film’s director Bob Clark and star Peter Billingsley.
Mount your Red Ryder beauty on your wall
If you wax nostalgic about days of yore, you can pick up an official Red Ryder BB gun and 
have it shipped to your home by Christmas to give to your own son, or maybe for yourself.
Jean Shepherd based A Christmas Story on his short stories
Jean Shepherd’s short stories include: In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda 
Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories Both stories are published under the title A Christmas Story in hardcover, audio and Nook format.
I’ve heard the “You’ll shoot your eye out” warning
I heard it and ignored it as a kid when I got my own cherished BB gun. I learned pretty quick not to shoot straight into any hard surfaces, thereby avoiding eyeglass-shattering ricochets. But strange, unexplainable things did begin to happen. Like the windows in my dad’s garage mysteriously disappearing. But that’s another story.
Tagged: A Christmas Story, Christmas, fudge, Jean Shepherd, Leg Lamp, major award, Peter Billingsley, Ralphie, Red Ryder BB Gun, You'll shoot your eye out
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